The ups and downs of the DR life are tough, but I realize that I would have ups and downs no matter where I go. I love my kids here. Like, I love them to death. I love being a part of their lives, I love spending time with them, I love being their friend and mentor. I love that I have 3 years of time invested in them. I love that I have my friends here. My dear friends. And most of them are staying next year. I love that I am wanted and cared for here. New friends bless my heart. I love them.
BUT
I have friends back in the States. I have no job (yet) but have a place to live in Maryland. I have the prospects of jobs, friends, new students, and joy back in the States.
Yet why does my heart seem so torn? The fear of the unknown? The frustration of not knowing what I want to do with my life? Loving my kids here in the DR but knowing I could love students in the States too?
Like it says in Proverbs, In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps
But what if I don't even know what course I want to take?
I know God has a plan for me (Jeremiah 29:11) but why is it so hard when I don't feel led one way or another?
Okay, thanks for letting me voice my struggle! Pray for me. Encourage me if you feel like God is giving you any wisdom about my life... ;)
1 comment:
I am praying for you, dear girl (and not selfishly, I'd like to add!) The Lord will use you wherever you go, wherever you stay, wherever you are. Period. Keep seeking Him in all that you do. Keep loving every last drop out of where you are right now. Keep devouring the scripture. You are loved. Like CRAZY! I'm done. For now.
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