Bible, frustration, and love.

good morning :)

yes. i know that it is 6:30am, and I am blogging, but I was up really early this morning due to my inability to breathe at this moment and the constant coughing that rattles my entire body every time I start...

this week has been good. i've been really frustrated recently because i feel like i'm not being developed as a teacher like i had wished/hoped, but then I just had to come to the realization that if I'm not going to reach out for help, then it's not going to come find me...

if you would have told me 5 years ago that I would be going to the DR to a Christian school to teach, I would have laughed at you. but now I'm here. and wholly inadequate as a teacher, Christian, and person. I have so much growing up to do before I honestly feel like I would be effective in all the aforementioned stations in life. We have to teach Bible class. Holy cow. intimidation. I had been avoiding it (yes. i had not been teaching Bible. shameful.) because I didn't know how. Yikes. It took me two weeks to summon the courage to admit that, yes I suck, and I don't know how to even approach teaching Bible...I feel like the most horrible person ever for not being able to teach my kids about the Bible. We do prayer every morning and our weekly memory verse, but that's about it. Yikes. yes. this is substandard. This past weekend I had a nice long chat with myself...yes...about how I cannot be lazy here. I want my students to get the best possible education. As low as they value education, I value it, and want to instill that value to them. Therefore, I need to start giving MY best in hopes that they will begin giving me their best.
Anyways, so Bible...my supervising teacher has been super sick basically since I got here so I feel super bad asking her for help...and I just don't want to be a burden to anyone else because they're having to pick up my "slack." Guess that's a pride issue. Shocking. Anyways, I finally just asked. One of the other teachers who has been at JCS for 2 years already agreed to sit and help me plan out my Bible lesson. As I just sat there and listened to ideas on how to teach Bible, I realized that this is what it's about...asking for help. Giving help. Being a servant but also being able to accept grace from others. Not saying that I'll be going to Christy for every little problem or expect her to continually plan my lessons for me, but it's a good jump-start. It's so humbling to know someone cares enough to take time out of THEIR already filled and stressful day to help me become a better teacher...

I'm thankful. and I'm learning.